First timers guide to seeing a professional Dominant

Recently there have been a number of first-timers contacting me for sessions (something which I love to facilitate by the way!) so I thought I would write up something that covers whats involved with a session.

Enjoy!

SIR DOMINIC’S FIRST SESSION GUIDE – What every woman or couple should know

This piece will explore:
1. What to think about while trying to find out/explore what you are into and wanting to experience.
2. What Sir is look for.
3. How to prepare beforehand, what to expect in a session, safety etc.
4. General Information + Safety, Subspace, Aftercare.
5. How to arrange a season and communicate with Sir.

1. WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?

You may know exactly what you are into and what they are looking for. But you may still be figuring yourself out and learning.

Having trouble thinking of what you want to try in a session with Sir?

Make a list just for yourself of the things you are interested in and want to try. Don’t leave anything out even if you assume Sir wouldn’t do it. Remember this list is only for you. If you are unsure, here are some things to ask yourself and think about (Feel free to skip to the next point if you don’t need this list)

– What types of things on the internet or in your fantasies intrigue you?

– Are you a submissive woman? Meaning, do you like a Dominant man to take charge and control you and surrendering yourself to him?

– Are you the type who fantasises about taking pain for a Dominant man or crave pain (even if you are unsure how much pain you can handle and are afraid)? Have you enjoyed being spanked on your ass during sex (and open to the idea of exploring this kind of activity more?) If so, you are likely a masochist. Some are light masochists, some are heavy masochists. Everyone is different. If not, thats completely fine and there is still a lot you can experience and explore.

– Do you like the idea of mixing sensuality and different sensations and dynamics all together in one experience?

– Do you fantasise about tending to a Dominant man’s needs in different ways as if you are owned property? Do you have a strong desire to belong to a man and be trained by man? If so, you might be a deeper kind of submissive called a slave.

– Are you into being restrained? Feeling helpless? You might want to list bondage/restraints

– Are you a fetishist? Do you have a very strong attraction to a body part or an object such as feet,boots, leather or items of clothing for example? Scents? Or anything very specific that is an absolute need for you?

– Are you interested in being degraded? Slapped in the face, spit at, called names, verbally cruel taunts, made to do demeaning things? Some are interested in light or severe forms of degradation.

– Are you interested in being laughed at? Humiliated by your Dominant? Made to do silly and stupid activities that amuse me? Are you interested in being their bossed-around court jester? You might enjoy light or severe humiliation.

– Are you into a Dominant man ignoring you, using you as a chair, a foot rest or a table? Are you there to be a piece of furniture to a Dominant man? An human ashtray while he smokes and ignores you? Then you are into objectification/human furniture play/(human ashtray play).

– Are you into playing out a fantasy such as a schoolgirl and her teacher, or a boss and secretary, co-workers, Batman and CatWoman, or any other role other than Dominant and client? If so, you are into a role-play.

– Are you interested in being punished by a Dominant man in a household setting such as a living room or kitchen with every day objects like a wooden hair brush or a spatula with her dressed up very every-day? Then you are into a
“Domestic Discipline Setting.”

– Are you into being beaten by a sadistic man with a cane or paddle or many other implements for his enjoyment or perhaps as punishment, maybe made to count each strike, wanting to leave feeling sore and maybe even with marks? You are into corporal punishment.

– Are you into regressing in age to a certain age (6 yr old for example) or many different younger ages? Then you are into age play.

– Do you fantasise about your Dominant whoring you out for money?

There are so many forms of BDSM play and session activities, but these above ideas are just a few examples of common ones to go on. Also think about session activities: Electro play, chastity, bondage, breath play, public outings, kidnapping scenes, and so on. Do you have a video or a photo of a Dominant and a submissive/slave, or a scene from a mainstream movie that drives you crazy? What about it intrigues you?

If you still don’t know what you want to explore, Sir can conduct an ‘exploratory session’ where together you’ll explore different types of play in a conscious way – this allows you to experience in a safe and consensual manner.

Step 2. WHAT IS SIR LOOKING FOR?

Women or couples who have an open mind, respectful, can communicate honestly and who are up for a lot of fun!

Step 3. WHAT TO EXPECT and HOW TO PREPARE?

TAKE A SHOWER. GROOM. Hygiene is extremely important. If you are new and nervous you might sweat. Wear deodorant. Chew a breath mint.

ARRIVING EARLY IS OK but don’t expect Sir to be ready before the scheduled appointment time. Aim to enter the building 5 minutes before your scheduled session time.  DON’T BE LATE unless it’s unavoidable. Call Temple22 to them know if you are late.

WHAT IS A SESSION LIKE?

Usually a session goes like this:

You will be greeted at the door by Temple’s secretary and you will be seated in a private and discreet waiting room.

You will be offered a drink as you wait for Sir to greet you.

Once Sir is ready, he will come to greet you and we will sit for a while and chat – Sir will aim to make you feel less nervous and this allows us to become comfortable with each other as we negotiate about what we will explore in our session together – going over your limits and interests. Sir will explain in detail what is expected from you during the session and what my responsibilities are to you. Sir will explain how to call a time-out/safeword and what happens when you do so. This is also your chance to ask me any questions in person before our session starts. Once we have finished here, Sir will leave and be waiting for you in the room. At this point the secretary will finalise our arrangement and escort you to the room to meet Sir.

You will enter the equipped dungeon room, and with the dim lighting, dark colours and wild dungeon furniture, the room might seem very scary and intimidating to a newbie, but eventually that room will be so familiar it will be like your own bedroom. It will be a sight of comfort and fun erotic memories.

When Sir starts the session the outside world will fade away.. and it becomes about ‘us’.

Since you are new, Sir will start slowly and work you into a scene. Sir will read your body language, ask questions and see how you are reacting to the things Im doing. If Sir is administering pain, Sir will start very light and slowly build while checking with you before the intensity and level of impact increases.

If Sir is seeing someone who is new and seems to be very nervous, Sir will discuss each thing he is doing with them as it is happening. The instructional approach seems to make them feel a lot better. Once they are comfortable, Sir knows he can keep going without it. Sir has made newbies feel so comfortable that they have been able to do scenes they thought they wouldn’t be able to do for a very long time, in their first session. That is not impossible, with a good Dominant. Sir will switch from activity to activity very fluidly and very naturally and immerse you in the experience.

If you are not enjoying something, or can’t handle what Sir is doing, tell Sir using the safe word to stop the activity and then vocalise it. Sir will be happy you said something and will switch to something else. If you never say anything you wont get the most out of your time together. Don’t be afraid to speak up.

Once the session is over, you have the choice to have a shower before leaving.

HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN A SESSION IS OVER?

Sir will slowly start to stop the session and bring you ‘back’ – Sir might save a certain activity for a finale. If you are in a trance, or subspace, Sir will let you relax for a while or give you aftercare while speaking with you to re-orientate you to the world outside the playspace.

HOW LONG DO MARKS LAST ANYWAY?

Everyone heals at a different rate. Reddened butts and backs from a flogging or a spanking will usually go away in 1-2 hours but you might feel sore the next day or 2 after. Rope marks from tight bondage, in under 30 minutes, massage your marks. Bruises and welts from a paddle or a nasty leather strap might last 2-8 days depending on how fast you heal. Whip marks from a single tail could last a week or 3 weeks if you heal very slow. Cane strokes that are deep purple could last 2-3 weeks until fully gone. If you have access to a beach, the ocean water will dramatically speed up your healing process, so keep your shirt on and hide those strange marks from public view and dive on in. If you cannot have lasting marks, make sure you tell me as you will need a good long and thorough warm-up. This is when I will hit you with implements that do not mark and get your skin very red to increase blood flow and speed up healing and prevent lasting marks. The better the warm-up, the less lasting marks you will have. Although a severe whipping and caning will still leave marks.  Some people have conditions where they bruise or mark extremely easily. Diabetics may not heal very fast.

4. GENERAL INFORMATION

SAFETY: You should never session with Sir if you are drunk or high.

Sir will not be hitting you in the lower back/kidney area PERIOD or spine/neck with her hand, paddles, crops, canes, straps or even floggers which can be heavy. Sir wont keep your arms above your head for a long period of time and Sir will feel if your hands are getting cold and lower them. Sir will adjust her bondage to promote circulation if necessary. Always tell Sir if something is numb or hurting right away.

SUBSPACE is a phenomenon that some women will experience. It is when the endorphins, excitement, mental stimulation, and sometimes even pain you experience can drive you into a state of deep mental space. Subspace IS REAL and not a rumor not made up, not a mind-over-matter thing. Women who experience sub space say they feel high, dizzy, hypnotized, lost in a trance, and some who are heavy masochists say that the pain when they are in subspace will feel so good they crave more and more of it. They also can feel very emotional, such as extremely happy, extremely depressed or extremely obedient. Your eyes might roll back into your head. You may no longer hear Sir, be unable to speak or form sentences. If you experience subspace during your session for the first time, Sir will be checking in on you and may make the decision to call it to end the activity, and calm you back down to reality. Sometimes after years of playing, a woman might suddenly experience subspace for the very first time out of the blue. It’s easier for some than it is for others. For some they never experience it at all. It’s not uncommon but not for everyone and some experience a light form of it while others have a much more deeper experience of it.

AFTERCARE: If you are bleeding, shaking, dizzy, scared, or going through many emotions after your session, Sir will be providing you with proper aftercare. Sir will discuss the scene with you and work through what has happened for you. Sir may insist that you rest a bit before leaving the premises to ensure you are ok to leave. Sir will provide for you water or have a snack on hand if you have low blood sugar. Sometimes women need to cry to let out an emotional release. It’s not uncommon and you are encouraged to release as Sir guides you through this experience with compassion and empathy.

5. HOW TO CONTACT/COMMUNICATE WITH SIR and ARRANGE A SESSION

You can contact Sir to arrange or enquire about a session in 2 ways – Phone and email.

Your email can be descriptive and informative but must be to the point, and must state that you are interested in booking a session.  Are you calling Sir’s secretary on the phone? Same rules apply. Keep it relatively short and ask the right questions.

An example email:

“Hello. My name is Sally. I’m brand new to this and very nervous but decided I need to finally take the plunge. I looked at your website/profile and Id like to enquire about booking a session.
I like the idea of a Dominant man controlling me. Pain is something I want to try but I am new to it so I ask we take things very slow. A few things that interest me also are bondage and more sensual play. I am intrigued by wax play but have never before tried it so perhaps that is something we can also try? I had a boyfriend tie me up once and control me during sex but that was the only past experience I ever had and I always wanted something more. I’ve never seen an actual professional dominant (Informative, but short and to the point. Seems like she has been trying to figure out his interests and knows a bit of what she’s into). I have knee problems so I can’t kneel on a hard surface or for a long period of time. (Things Sir should know in advance, glad she mentioned this right away so Sir knows to not put pressure on her knees).
I am available Friday and Saturday evenings after 6pm. Roughly, when are you available?
Thanks in advance.
Sally 555-555-5555 (please call only before 5pm, and don’t text or leave voicemails)” OR “Please email me back.”
(Implies she is wanting to move onto the next steps, such as chatting with her and booking an appointment).

THINGS SIR NEEDS TO KNOW IN ADVANCE

Sir wants to know what your limits are. You might not know what your limits are yet. But it helps to know for example that degradation will never be your thing, and you don’t want to ever bleed. Or that you are into being verbally degraded but certain things might be going too far (being called a slut for example). Things to think about. If you can or can’t have marks on you such as a bruise or a whip mark. If you have health problems like diabetes, hypertension, or recently had surgery.

Again, if you are unsure what your limits are please communicate that to Sir.

So, are you ready?

Sir Dominic’s professional BDSM sessions are by appointment only. You can:

Phone: +61 2 9331 4418
or
Email: info@temple22.com.au

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