This article is written for women in mind, but that being said, men can get a lot out of it too.
Before getting started, it helps to understand what an orgasm actually is. An orgasm, according to Wikipedia, is the sudden discharge of accumulated sexual excitement during the sexual response cycle, resulting in rhythmic muscular contractions in the pelvic region characterised by sexual pleasure.
Besides providing a physical release, it’s also an emotional one—allowing you to feel closer to your partner or simply de-stress after a tough day. The orgasm is one of the greatest pleasures one can experience in life, and while some women never have an orgasm, others have been equipped with the ability to have many different types and multiple orgasms during one sex session. Men can have also multiple during one sex session where their orgasm is separate to ejaculation, but, that requires a lot of intense training and conditioning and will be the focus of another article.
Societal norms, the media, and pornography greatly influence how we all view women’s orgasms, but, the research indicates what I’ve experienced first hand – healthy sexual self-esteem and good communication are the most important factors in women’s sexual satisfaction, let alone achieving orgasm.
The social expectations surrounding women’s orgasms can be quite distressing to women who don’t always experience them. And when depictions of sex in the media are taken into consideration, the gap between expectation and reality widens even further.
Enjoying orgasms is essentially a basic human instinct. We are hard-wired to believe that orgasm = good. But what if I told you that you weren’t having the variety of orgasms that you could be having?
Many men and women mistakenly believe that there are only four types of sexual climax/orgasms for women. There’s vaginal, clitoral, squirting (yes its very real – more on this later), and the G-spot orgasm (which, contrary to what you might have heard, is definitely not a myth). Some lucky women know about an elusive fifth too: The breast orgasm. (I have experienced women that have had them!).
But what if I told you there were actually twelve different types of orgasm you can have?
How many have you had – and how many would you like to try?
i hope this guide shines a light on the orgasm, and more so, the amazing orgasmic potential of the whole female mind and body.
Refer to the picture below for exact locations of areas specified
- The Clitoral Orgasm
This is definitely the most common orgasm women experience, and since the due to clitoris being so sensitive and the amount of nerve endings that are focused on that small area, they can be incredibly intense. The clitoris has nerve endings that spread throughout the body, so stimulation and clitoral orgasms can cause pleasurable and intense sensations in other areas of the body.
As every woman is different, what is required to have this type of orgasm will vary. Some like very light and even indirect stimulation (for eg via the clitoral hood) while others require more firmer, direct and sustained contact.
Clitoral orgasms are the easiest to attain, and can be trigger with either fingers, the tongue or a vibrator. The key here is good communication – be vocal during the entire process. If you are a woman who experiences hyper sensitivity or even pain after a clitoral orgasm, then try to lubricate the area more thoroughly, and/or experiment with the use of lighter touch.
- The G-Spot Orgasm
There has been a lot of debate about the G-spot – whether it exists, where exactly is it etc, Ive found its very real. It’s located about 5-7 cm into the vagina and feels a bit spongier than the rest of whats going on in there. During arousal, this area can become engorged with blood and prostatic fluid – kind of like the female version of an erection (yep, not only your clitoris gets erect!)
Some women have been able to achieve a G-Spot orgasm via thrusting – but this is very uncommon and thrusting is more prone to triggering vaginal orgasms. Instead, the G-Spot orgasm relies on direct stimulation by pressing and rubbing. The easiest way to have a G-Spot orgasm is with direct pressure which is rhythmic and in a circular fashion – either with fingers or a G-Spot vibrator and/or dildo (which has been specifically designed for that).
This orgasm may take more time than others for most women, so don’t be surprised if it takes 20-30 minutes to get there and it often combines with vaginal and squirting orgasms without any extra effort or intention. The G-Spot orgasm is the orgasm that can make a woman’s legs shake and can easily send the receiver into a lush bliss state.
- The Vaginal Orgasm
The vaginal orgasm is often less intense than the G-Spot or clitoral orgasm, but they are perceived as ‘deeper’ and more full of overall pleasure. Again, like most things sexual, will vary from woman to woman.
I’ve noticed that this kind of orgasm is located in the pelvic region, while other’s have claimed that this type of orgasm spreads to other parts of the body. Again like the G-Spot orgasm, vaginal orgasms can take longer to achieve than clitoral orgasms and have been known to cause contractions that are so strong, they can even expel whatever was in the vagina before the orgasm started.
The easiest way to achieve this orgasm is with sustained, rhythmic thrusting – either with fingers, penis or toys. Vary the speed as necessary and communicate with your partner. Expect (on average) 20 – 30 minutes of sustained thrusting before this orgasm is achieved.
- The Squirting Orgasm
This type is one of my absolute favorite orgasms to trigger and experience because I enjoy wet and messy sex.
It must be noted that not all women are able to achieve this type of orgasm, even with a lot of training – if this is indeed you, it’s ok. There are 11 others outlined here in this guide.
There is a lot of debate about this type of orgasm. Researchers have now come to a step closer to defining this controversial phenomenon, by performing the first ultrasound scans on women who express large amounts of liquid at orgasm. Some women express liquid from their urethra when they climax and its been shown to empty the bladder. For some, this consists of a small amount of milky white fluid – this, technically, is the female ejaculate. Other women report “squirting” a much larger amount of fluid – enough to make it look like they’ve wet the bed. A few small studies have suggested the milky white fluid comes from Skene glands – tiny structures that drain into the urethra. Some in the medical community believe these glands are akin to the male prostate, although their size and shape differ greatly between women and their exact function is unknown.
A chemical analysis performed by a researcher in France found that there are 2 types of chemical makeup in what squirts out. The first type consists of the same chemicals present in their urine and the fluid squirted at orgasm. The other type consists of prostatic-specific antigen (PSA) present in their squirted fluid – an enzyme not detected in their initial urine sample of the women who were part of the research, but which is part of the “true” female ejaculate.
All I know is that the women I’ve experienced having it have found it pleasurable – so who cares what it consists of, where it originates and whats the role of it. One thing is for sure, women usually need to feel very comfortable with their partner, so part of the satisfaction women experience is that it helps foster a deep bond between them and their partner.
I’ve experienced women releasing a lot of negative emotions/energy with this type of orgasm and have a very deep sense of peace afterward. I’ve even seen women cry with this kind of release (followed by a lot of smiles!).
Some women squirt during sex without any G-Spot stimulation while the majority get there with a very specific fingering technique that is applied to the G-Spot. A way of knowing that you have the ability to squirt is that if you have ever felt the need to urinate during sex, then that is the vagina saying that it would like to/is capable of squirting. Check out this video for the technique.
- The A-Spot Orgasm
The ‘A’ in A-Spot refers to the Anterior Fornix, and it plays a key role in a number of women’s ability to have multiple orgasms. The main reason for this is that this area, unlike other erogenous zones, doesn’t become more sensitive after orgasm. This allows you to continue to build on the orgasm here and pro-long the orgasmic potential of your sex session.
The A-Spot is on the same vaginal wall as the g-spot, but about 5 – 7 cm deeper. Not all women enjoy it, so if this is indeed you, be vocal about it if your partner is hitting that spot. If you do indeed enjoy it, keep at it after your first orgasm. Use deep breathing as a way to add to the continuation of the orgasm.
This orgasm usually is triggered by short and deep thrusting. Using fingers in a scooping ‘come here’ motion can help this along quite well – essentially the same as a G-Spot orgasm, just in a different place.
This orgasm can happen more suddenly, and the feeling can vary with similarities to a G-Spot orgasm as well as a vaginal orgasm. Its been describe as an ‘electric’ feeling, and obviously, very pleasurable.
- The O-Spot (aka Deep Spot Orgasm)
There is probably something you may not have heard of. The medical name for it is the Posterior Fornix. As the name suggests, this spot is located in the deepest part – right before the entrance to the cervix. The women who enjoy this type of orgasm say it causes very intense, deep orgasms.
The best way to trigger this orgasm is with a hand, although, this spot is further in than your fingers will be able to reach. To stimulate the area, you’ll want to make a “come here” motion with your fingers. Start slow, since many women are not used to this type of stimulation. Alternate between long and short strokes, and vocalise to your partner about how you are responding to this.
- The U-Spot
I don’t come up with the names of these orgasms and I know you are thinking you can add any letter in front of the word orgasm to come up with a new one – but believe me, they do all exist.
The U-Spot is the name given to a very small bit of erectile tissue between the urethra and the vagina. Gentle stimulation is all you need here – and when done right, the response will be quite charged. I find that it’s easiest if you use a tongue, but you can also use the tip of a toy, or your finger, or your partners finger.
- The Anal Orgasm
An anal orgasm is the result of sexual stimulation of the nerves in and around the anus. The anus is packed full of nerves, especially the incredibly erogenous pudendal nerve, which connects to the clitoris, The pudendal nerve carries sensation to and from your perineum, reaching your vagina, vulva, and anus, too.
Some women describe the anal orgasm as being similar to a clitoral orgasm – a pulse of pleasurable contractions, but this time around the anal sphincter. Others may feel more of a “spreading wave” of pleasure.
Pleasurable anal play can happen with an anal vibrator, plug or beads, a penis or dildo, finger play, and annulingus. Like any kind of sex session, you’ll want to get things going with ample amounts of foreplay, such as touching, kissing, and vaginal and clitoral stimulation. From there, ease into it and control the pace.
Once you’re relaxed and ready, begin with a tongue or finger to gently stimulate the area of the anus. Take it slow and use A LOT of lube. When you’re aroused, try to ease one finger or tip of a plug inside. The muscles will open up naturally so the plug or finger can go inside. If you have to force it, you’re not ready.
I cant stress this enough – If you are the one receiving the anal play, then be vocal and let your partner know when he can go in deeper. Taking control of the action here will ensure you are able to handle and enjoy what’s happening.
Now.. we are entering the most rare types of orgasms, but that being said, they do exist.
- The Nipple/Breast Orgasm
Interestingly and not surprisingly, the nipples and clitoris share nerves and when you stimulate one, the other is stimulated. A very small number of women feel the stimulation to their nipples/breast so intensely, that it can trigger a full orgasm.
In tantra, it is said that once you touch the nipple after stroking and stimulating the breast, it brings the feelings of pleasure and the energy you have generated to a focal point – so the longer you can hold off doing that the better. Click here for a detailed plan of nipple waves of orgasmic bliss action.
- Blowjob/Mouth Orgasm
It might sound strange, but think about it: When you are using your mouth on your partner (in any way), it usually turns you on. It makes sense, then, that further stimulation to your mouth has the potential to lead to an orgasm. I’ve experienced a partner having this on a number of occasions, but the vast majority of women haven’t had one. The ones who do typically say it starts at the lips and then spreads out to the rest of the body.
- The Mental Orgasm
Women with a particularly strong imagination are the most likely to have a mentally based orgasm. These come from processing visual and auditory cues that lead you to feel aroused. Like men, women get sexual gratification from watching and hearing other people have sex, but the more sensitive women, can have a full-blown orgasm via this alone, and without any other form of stimulation. I had a partner that had a full-blown orgasm from listening to music once.
To see if you’re sensitive enough to have a full mental orgasm, try laying down and putting on porn – or just keep the room quiet. Concentrate on thinking about having sexual activities performed on you, but don’t touch! Let your mind lead the way, and envision your deepest fantasies. Flex your Kegel muscles and picture everything you desire. Try to resist the urge to help things along, and you should be pleased with the end results!
Another form of mental orgasm is an orgasm that is triggered via ‘Erotic Hypnosis’. A more specific form of Erotic Hypnosis conditions the receiver to have an orgasm via either a specific visual, auditory or kinaesthetic based trigger that is triggered by the person who has imbedded this command in the mind of the receiver. Happy googling 🙂
Lets shift our perspective on what’s possible with our the orgasm type in the list…
- Tantric/Energetic Orgasm
Tantra is an entire world unto its own.
From the tantric perspective, the perspective on orgasm in our current culture has become very limited. We have come to define orgasm as one intense moment that we experience a powerful build-up to and then an explosion, then relaxation. There is absolutely nothing wrong with orgasming in this way, it is simply not the whole story.
One of the things that often happens when we are heading for one of these intense ‘pointed’ experiences of orgasm (which is sometimes referred to as a ‘peak’ orgasmic experience) is that we tense our bodies in an effort to focus the energy in our genitals (I invite you to be a scientist and watch for this next time you are going for a peak orgasm).
Another thing that sometimes happens is that we can get fixated or hungry for the result of the final explosion and this can actually take us away from ourselves or our partner. We can find that we forget the sensations of the current moment as we charge ahead to feed that need to ‘explode’ (again, check this out… does this happen to you? It’s different for everyone).
When it comes to moving into a new space of experiencing the full potential of our orgasm, a certain amount of opening and freeing of the body must be done to support a re-sensitising of the body. This can be an easy process if everyone physically ‘shook’ their bodies for 5 minutes a day – they would find they are much more orgasmic within a month. This is simply because the shaking opens the body, allows for blocks to clear and makes way for new sensitivities as energy can flow more freely.
Simply put, energy orgasms happen when you have unlocked that kundalini sex energy/more in touch with your sexual energy so much so, that it flows freely on command. This is about creating multiple waves of orgasmic feeling that is beyond the triggering of orgasm via a specific ‘process’ or a specific type of stimulation.
Highly skilled tantric practitioners can give each other orgasms by generating and sending energy. What you will see in this video is very real. I know a number of highly skilled tantric practitioners and have seen this happen in person.
Ready to have your mind blown? Watch the video below!
For more detail about energy orgasms.. https://somananda.org/energy-orgasm/
Food for thought – Is orgasm really the most important thing?
In my opinion, it’s not. In fact, being so focussed on the end goal of an orgasm can ironically, possibly make it harder to finish and make the overall sex a lot less fun. In order to have pleasurable sex, we need to take the goals out of sex so that you can start to feel sensation and connection and feel the pleasure in our whole body rather than just focussing on the orgasm at the end.
Shifting your focus to pleasure as a whole and thinking of an orgasm as an added bonus can mean more passionate, intimate, and erotic sex — which is never a bad thing, honestly.
Touch each other’s body, embrace the kissing, massaging and undressing. Listen to your partner’s breathing and feel their skin, take the time to enjoy this sensual moment and definitely don’t try and live up to the porn orgasms you’ve come across.
Even though a quickie with a big finish can be amazing every now and then, not all sex has to be fast and furious. If you take your time and make your partner’s pleasure your mission without worrying about the “outcome,” you can have hotter, more fulfilling sex — and get to know each other’s likes, dislikes, kinks, and more along the way.
However you get aroused is how you’re going to enjoy playtime the most, so be sure to focus on just that, while also focusing on your partner and their pleasure. Take note of each other’s sexual preferences and even if you aren’t achieving an orgasm, learn the diverse ways you both get aroused and ignore the pressure to have a big finish.
Enjoy the journey, don’t worry about the destination – right? Be gentle, affectionate and heat things up, but enjoy a slower and more relaxed experience with no anxiety or pressure for either of you to achieve climax.
Lets celebrate sex not just for the climax, but for its ability to bring us pleasure in so many ways, and its ability to bring us closer to our partners in the process. If you happen to have an orgasm, more power to you — otherwise, sit back and enjoy the slow, sensual ride.
I wish you many orgasms while also enjoying the sex that happens before and after it – Enjoy the journey!
BECOME MORE ORGASMIC!
I have a number of programs and processes to help unlock your orgasmic potential – Get in touch with me to discuss them in detail and work out what is best for you!
I look forward to helping you on your journey xo