The misunderstandings about brats in BDSM are widespread. Some people believe that brats require further training, are simply toying with submission, or do not have a place in BDSM. These misconceptions stem from a lack of understanding regarding the bond between a Dominant and their brat, which is unique and exceptional. Let’s do a deep dive and debunk the myths of Brats.
1. Brats are not Submissives
A lot of people believe that brats are not submissives, and this is understandable. How can someone who defies their Dominant be considered a submissive? However, this is not the case. In reality, their disobedience is actually a form of obedience and a demonstration of their submission. This may be a difficult concept to grasp, so let me elaborate.
Brats are typically paired with sadists or brat tamers – individuals who enjoy exerting their dominance and discipline. If brats never misbehaved, their Dominant would miss out on a kink they find enjoyable. This is why brats act up – not to anger their Dominant, but to trigger a desired outcome. Their acting up serves as a signal that it is time for the Dominant to engage in their preferred activity – whether it’s discipline or inflicting pain through spanking. By disobeying and submitting to the consequences imposed by their Dominant, the brat is actually serving.
Another aspect of brat disobedience is that they are aware of their Dominant’s limits and respect them. They know when and how far they can push their Dominant, and when it’s time to stop. This is because, at the core of their behavior, brats want to please their Dominant. They do not derive pleasure from truly disobeying or disappointing their Dominant, nor do they want to make their Dominant’s life more difficult. This obedience stems from a deep sense of respect and submission towards their Dominant.
In the beginning of the relationship, brats may still need to be trained on boundaries. Like any submissive, they want to learn what is and isn’t acceptable. The Dominant must teach them when ‘no’ means ‘no,’ and when it’s time to stop acting up. If the brat is genuine, they will listen and obey, because they desire to please their Dominant as a submissive.
2. Brats are always disobedient
People often assume that brats are always disobedient, which is understandable given that they are often seen acting out in dungeons or munches where bratting is encouraged and accepted. However, in these play spaces, it is not uncommon for brats to test their boundaries and push the limits, pleasing their Dominant in the process.
Outside of these play spaces, in places like the grocery store or at home, a brat may behave in a much more obedient manner. They know when it is appropriate to act out and when it is not, and they understand that obedience is expected in certain situations. This demonstrates the true nature of a brat, who knows how to balance their playful disobedience with respect and obedience to their Dominant.
On the other hand, there are individuals who claim to be brats but are simply disobedient submissives. They may ignore their Dominant’s directives and continue to act out even when punishment is given, which goes beyond bratting and into the realm of disrespectful behaviour. This could be a sign of deeper issues within the relationship or a lack of true submission, but it does not make them a brat. A true brat knows how to obey and will do so when necessary.
3. Brats love punishment too much to ever be corrected
Many people believe that brats enjoy punishment too much to ever be corrected. This is not entirely true. While brats do often have masochistic tendencies and may enjoy spankings, not all brats enjoy all spankings or punishments. To understand this better, it’s important to know a brat’s preferences. For example, some brats may have a particular implement or spanking position they dislike. To make sure a brat is corrected, their Dominant must know what implements or positions the brat dislikes and reserve those for punishments.
In addition to spanking positions, brats may also dislike certain punishments, such as being grounded, forced to write lines, or deprived of playtime. The key to effective punishment is finding what works for the brat. As long as the punishment isn’t a hard limit, it can be used to correct them. The goal of punishment is not to cause harm but to enforce limits and boundaries. Brats need and want to be corrected, as it helps them feel safe and secure in the dynamic.
Despite this, brats do not enjoy all forms of punishment. However, as submissives, they enjoy having limits and boundaries, which are enforced through punishment. Brats may even push boundaries to test their Dominant’s enforcement of rules, but ultimately they want to be corrected. Punishing a brat may require creativity, but as long as it’s not a hard limit, it can be an effective way to correct their behaviour.
4. Brats are only fun to play with, not to have relationships with
Contrary to popular belief, brats can be great partners for the right Dominant. They may not appeal to everyone, but neither do little submissives, pets, or switches. The key is finding what suits you best. Those who love brats enjoy the challenge of disciplining them and earning their submission.
Training a brat involves setting boundaries for when they should brat and when they should submit. They need to understand what behaviours are allowed and which are not, and they want to please their Dominant. A brat who loves their Dominant will submit to them and brat within the set limits. This makes it possible for brats to have loving, long-term relationships.
Some people prefer just playing with brats rather than having a full-time relationship with them, and that’s okay. The same goes for brats who only want to play, not engage in a 24/7 dynamic. It’s all about mutual agreement and understanding each other’s wants and needs. If you don’t want a relationship with a brat, don’t enter one, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible for brats to have long-term relationships. In fact, even strong-willed brats can thrive in 24/7 dynamics with the right partner.
5. Brats need to be broken.
There is this strange idea in the community that brats must be broken. We break glasses, vases, and maybe even promises, but what is breaking a person. Breaking means taking a person to their limit and pushing them past it – so be VERY careful when someone says they want to ‘break’ you as it may lead to regret and you may be left considering to never brat again. As a Dominant, you need to consider that it is teaching them expressing themselves through bratting is not okay, is not acceptable, and will not be tolerated ever. Not that it is not okay in this situation, but that being a brat is not okay full stop. In essence, it is teaching a person who they are is wrong. Which is the very reason why trying to break a brat is wrong. BDSM is not about forcing people to be something they aren’t or teaching them who they are is wrong, it is about letting them be who they are. If you want to break a brat and change who they are, then don’t be with a brat, because they need to be tamed, not broken.
When it comes to BDSM relationships, taming a brat is often misunderstood as breaking a brat. However, taming a brat is actually a crucial part of the dynamic between a brat and their Dominant. The goal is to bring the brat’s mischievous behaviour to a level that is appropriate and within the boundaries set by the Dominant.
Just like training a submissive, taming a brat involves teaching them when and where certain behaviors are acceptable. This structure and discipline is something that brats crave, as they want to know they can act out, but within limits. The Dominant lovingly guides the brat in finding a balance between their mischievous side and the boundaries set.
Taming a brat allows them to be their full, bratty selves within the confines of what their Dominant deems acceptable. It does not mean denying their nature or personality, but rather defining limits around how they express themselves. The brat learns the appropriate amount and type of bratting, as well as when and where it is not acceptable. Taming a brat is a crucial aspect of the BDSM dynamic and helps to bring structure and discipline to the relationship, while still allowing the brat to express their full, mischievous self.
Brats can be challenging submissives, but they are rewarding for the right kind of Dominant. Those who are drawn to brats relish the fun of taming and disciplining them. Although brats may push back and test their limits, they ultimately desire to care for and submit to their Dominant.
For those who are up to the task, taming a brat requires patience, persistence, and perseverance. It’s important to set clear boundaries and teach the brat when it’s time to cut out the play and be obedient. The ultimate goal is to bring the bratting to an appropriate and enjoyable level, not to break them.
So if you’re a Dominant who loves a good challenge, and you’re ready to invest the time and effort, a brat may be the perfect submissive for you. Show them love and trust, and they will love and trust you back.